A Letter of Forgiveness
I feel like I’m wobbling on the edge of losing all self-control. I’m not thinking about dying my hair blond and leaving my family in search of Elvis. It’s food. Once again I’m struggling to not be controlled by food. Will this fight ever end? Probably not. At least, as long as I live in a culture where people’s weight gain keeps up with our national debt.
I feel like I’m losing sight of my goals. I’m forgetting to care for The Abbeys. I’m forgetting how depressing it is to not fit into my jeans. I’m forgetting how GREAT it feels to have self-control. It started off with too much peanut butter. Then a trip to the mountains which is so easily turns into the “I’m on vacation. It’s only a few days.” mentality. And there are some personal things going on right now that are causing a great deal of stress and worry. I can make excuses or make better choices. I am no longer the person who lets my emotions control what goes in my mouth. At least I’m trying not to be. I’m going to be honest it’s not easy. This is a letter of forgiveness to myself.
I forgive for your lack of self-control. I forgive you for seeking comfort from food despite knowing the disappoint you will feel as soon as you swallow that last bite. I will forgive you for seeking instant gratification through a plate of nachos. I forgive you for your short sightedness. For failing to see the big picture and instead only seeking to fulfill your desires of the moment. I will do my best to see you in light of your purpose and potential given to you by God and I will nourish you accordingly. I will nourish you not because you want to stay in your “skinny” jeans (well maybe a little) but because I care about your mental and spiritual well being.
Okay so that was a little wierd. Well…I bet you’re a little weird too. We all are and it’s cool…super cool.