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Are you a “real” woman?

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We, as women, are bombarded every day with mixed messages. At the grocery store check out line we are told how to get flat abs, have better sex, and “perfect hair”. The ultimate message being we aren’t enough.

Then we log onto Facebook and see our friends sharing images or articles with the message “Real Women Have Curves” or  bashing (or praising) Maria Kang for posting a meme about excuses or a multitude of other anti-body shaming messages. Don’t get me wrong. I’m NOT for body shaming and I’ve seen some really really great articles on body loving. I’m glad women are speaking up and saying it’s okay to love our bodies as they are because that couldn’t be more true no matter what you look like.

No matter what you look like.

when-did-this-become-hotter-than-this

Not nice.

Because sometimes the attempt at body love goes too far one way and depending on where you are on the spectrum of body types the message for many women still is “you are not enough”. Often this message is coming from (well intentioned) friends and family and that can be harder to hear than the messages we get from media outlets. We know that _____ (insert company) wants to sell us _____ (insert product) because it will supposedly make us more attractive, successful, or desirable. I think most of us also know that that message is also a load of crap.

It’s important in this social media backlash against the ideal (whatever that may be because depending on whether you are looking at Vogue, Fitness, or a mens magazine I see more than one ideal represent.) to remember that these women are human and no amount of dieting, makeup, or plastic surgery can change that fact. The woman with the tummy tuck, breast augmentation, face lift, and hair color is just as real as the crunchy hippy wearing nothing but a faded sundress.

Manly cupcake meme

NOT nice no matter how you look at it.

Just as we shouldn’t make an overweight person feel less than. We shouldn’t make the skinny woman feel as if she’s not a real woman because she doesn’t have curves. Or call the girl with the six pack abs and sculpted deltoids a “man” or worse (in my opinion) selfish because she chooses to make choices that keep her looking lean and fit. Or assume people who work hard on their appearance (physically or financially) are  self-centered. Or declared that someone is motivated by fitspo is shallow.

That’s not to say certain behaviors are not sometimes signs of underlying issues. Excessive plastic surgery, over exercising, over eating, or restrictive eating are potentially dangerous habits that should be addressed but last I heard having issues doesn’t make us less than human. Having issues makes us human. And humans, all humans, are worthy of love and respect.

People are so much more complex than the endless list stereotypes we stick on them.

You are valuable six pack or not.

You are valuable skinny or not.

You are valuable curves or not.

You are valuable with or without plastic surgery.

You are valuable as mother or not.

You are valuable in a relationship or single.

The list goes on.

Nothing can make you more or less valuable.

Nothing can you make you more or less “a real woman”.

Nothing.

You are enough as you are. You are valuable because you are you.

Don’t let any media with its narrow ideals or well intentioned social media meme tell you otherwise.

Hugs and High Fives,
Jenn

Keep up with my kettlebell workouts, real food recipes, and more in one of three ways! 1. Sign up to have posts emailed to your inbox. 2. Subscribe to the RSS Feed or 3. “like” Girl Heroes on Facebook. Simple dimple!

Journey with our family on the road at Newschool Nomads as we travel fulltime in RV through the United States.

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Tags: body image, Mental Health, Musings

About jennincat

I'm so happy you stopped by my little corner of the web where I write about fitness, food, and amazing women I "meet". I live in California with my wonderful husband and two rambunctious boys. I'm a personal trainer and dreamer. I enjoy most things but some of my favorites are reading, acting, camping, cooking, music, writing, traveling, and being in the moment with my favorite people! You can read more about me here! I hope you stop by often!
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5 Responses to “Are you a “real” woman?”

  1. On January 15, 2014 at 12:46 pm Katie responded with... #

    Preach it, sistah!

    Reply
  2. On January 15, 2014 at 4:39 pm [email protected] responded with... #

    Yes!

    Reply
  3. On January 15, 2014 at 8:00 pm Deb (SmoothieGirlEatsToo) responded with... #

    You wrote this for me, didn’t you? 😉 xoxo

    Reply
  4. On January 30, 2014 at 7:26 pm Jen responded with... #

    lol! so true! I think there are real men out there though that 100% agree with what you’re saying and that being super skinny is NOT hot.

    Reply

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About this article

  • Posted on January 15, 2014
  • Archived in Musings
  • There are 5 responses.
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