Jumping Off the Crazy Train
It’s pms week and that means I want to eat my body weight in nachos.
The crazy train arrived Saturday night while I was teaching “Sunday” school during the nighttime service at church. I had been a little “crave-ish” but not too bad. It was going well until snack time. I passed out the graham crackers and Ritz to kids. Their smiling faces were totally unaware of the battle raging inside me where I was imagining myself with blowtorch setting their crackers ablaze as I cackled in a fit of hysteria. I sat the crackers down when a little crumb tumbled innocently out onto the counter. I stood there staring unable to toss it in the trash for what seemed like 3 minutes. One little taste won’t hurt. Blackout. I regain conscious and “realize” I’ve eaten over half a pack of Ritz and about 5 sheets of graham crackers. Uh-oh.
Sunday I’m doing pretty good until the evening when I decide to clean up the kitchen. I spot the peanut butter sitting stoically on the shelf. I need some “good fats” I tell myself. A tablespoon won’t hurt my progress. Uh-huh. A tablespoon or two won’t but a bowl WILL. Seriously A BOWL of peanut butter. Okay it was a small bowl but still a bowl of peanut butter. Geez.
So I slipped up. My former self would mentally flog myself. But instead I choose to forgive myself and do my best to hop back on the wagon. I made it through yesterday without any slip ups. I wasn’t happy about eating my tuna and salad but I no longer felt like a lunatic when I saw a bowl of chips. We even went out to dinner last night and there where chips and salsa on the table, my favorite snack and I didn’t have one. Not one. And today I woke up feeling like a totally different person. I’m back in the groove, ready to lose!