Maybe because it was my last stop for the day or maybe it was because I’m absent minded by nature but the other evening I found myself standing in the frozen food aisle of Trader Joe’s utterly confused. I had stopped to pick up a few things for the next day’s dinner. We were having friends over and I wanted it to be special. I had grabbed some lemons, an eggplant, and a potted basil plant that swayed when I pushed the cart.

Near the back corner of the store the demo station was winding down for the night but left on the counter in miniature paper cups were slices of dinner rolls. I parked my cart off to side and picked up one of the cups of white processed sweet wheat.

Devouring the bread sample, I grabbed my cart and headed toward the frozen food aisle to get a bag a frozen chicken when I looked down and saw this.

My cart was piled high with of loaves of bread, cupcakes, pies, and other sweets. Where was my eggplant and basil? Whose cart was this? Then it occurred to me that it may be mine. I seriously contemplated the possibility that I had absent-mindedly wandered through the store and subconsciously picked up all this carby goodness.

Crazy thoughts like this aren’t really so crazy when you are up to your neck in sugar addiction.

I haven’t been writing much here lately. Driving to Alaska, taking care of our new baby, keeping our two older homeschoolers on task are all part of my absence here but I’ve also been guzzling sugar like M&Ms are going to be discontinued tomorrow. Then to add to the fire or should I say “lack of” my workout schedule has all been but nonexistent.

I’ve gone back to the “dark days” of pre-2008 (<==my take on nutrition has also changed a bit since). The time when I hid outside my house and drank cups of maple syrup. The times when I would steal candy from my kids.

There is some light in the chocolatey darkness. I’m not depressed like I was seven years ago. I’m not happy about this struggle with sugar but I’m not dealing with a true depression and would never want to minimize those who struggle with clinical depression because I’ve been there and it’s serious. Overall, more days than not, I feel pretty dang balanced and quite often downright peaceful.

But but but…there is this uncontrollable urge to consume sugar and my question is why?

Why?

WHY???

Is it emotional? Physiological? A combination?

A few weeks ago I kept a record of how I felt when I ate sugar and discovered…there was absolutely no pattern. None. I ate sugar when I was excited. I ate sugar when I was bored. I ate sugar when I was feeling aloof. I ate sugar when I was happy. I ate sugar when I wanted to procrastinate. I ate sugar when I was feeling peaceful. I ate sugar because it was a beautiful day and I wanted to add to my pleasure. I ate sugar because “it was there”.

The last time I combatted my sugar addiction I gave up sweets  cold turkey on New Year’s day 2008. During that time I “graduated” myself from “no sugar” to “homemade treats made with unrefined sugars”. It worked beautifully and I rarely felt deprived until I was sabotaged by the Boy Scouts and then again by Halloween when I picked up my first piece of candy in nearly four years. It didn’t take long for that bite sized piece of corn syrup to turn into an avalanche of sugar.

Before those M&Ms melt in your mouth and not in your hand, I was right back where I had started from four years before with one difference, I knew a lot more about sugar’s effect on the body. Previously, I knew my childhood dentist warned against candy and I knew sugar wasn’t helping me loose those extra pounds I was carrying but now I knew about insulin sensitivity, sugar’s link to cancer and other diseases, and sugar has even been associated with premature aging. But even my vanity can’t keep me out of the candy aisle.

Generally speaking I’m very grateful for my life and experience a great deal of happiness most days but I’m also tired. Tired of dealing with the constant cravings. Tired of the guilt that I put on myself for the sugar binges. Tired of worrying that I’m going to get cancer from all the sugar.

I really just want to be able to go to open a pint of ice cream and not eat the whole thing. I really want to be able to eat a few Hershey Kisses and not a whole bag. I really want to be able to keep my kid’s Christmas candy  in the house and not think about it all day.

So that’s where I’m at.

People who know me well know that I’m stubborn as hell determined. I’m determined to understand and overcome this addiction. It just may take me awhile and while that’s not very inspiring, it’s honest.

Sugar may have knocked me down but I’m not dead.

If you have any advice I’m all ears.

Hugs and High Fives,
Jenn

Check out our family’s adventures at Newschool Nomads as we travel in our RV through the United States!

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This morning I lay in bed wondering about the state of my immune system and pancreas.

That’s what most people think about upon waking, no?

Since moving into an RV and hitting the road many things have changed.  I wake up to different surrounding almost every day.  I have a small refrigerator.  I have about a foot of space between my bed and my closet.  I drive a truck.  I don’t shop at the same stores every week.

I eat sugar.

White refined sugar.

The sugar I avoided for over 3 years and thought I would avoid for the rest of my life.

It started with the Boys Scouts.  The Boy Scouts…who would have thought?  Who would have thought their Chocolate Lovers Popcorn would taste so good.  I passed off the popcorn as a “super special” occasion.  I mean my Boy Scouts only sells popcorn once a year.

Next it was Halloween.  I have no clue as to why but on my way by the candy dish I ate a mini Snickers.  It was the first piece of real candy I had had since December 2007.  Again.  I decided, it was just one.  Then a few hours later I had some Raisinets.  Of all things.

I did some thinking the next few days and decided I was going to try and eat sugar “in moderation” like a “normal” person.

The problem is I don’t respond to sugar like a normal person.  I respond like a drug addict.  Cravings, eating in secret, hiding evidence, and eating it despite feeling horrible.  I’ve not had a full blown binge but I have been eating multiple servings throughout the day, pumpkin pie with breakfast, a cookie after lunch, and ice cream after dinner.  I need a sugar drip line straight into the blood stream.

There is no balancing act for me.

I’m not proud.

It’s been showing on my waist but believe it or not that is not what bothers me the most.  I’m bothered because I feel out of control.  I’m bothered because I eat it despite waking up every night with pain in my stomach.  I’m bothered because sugar is hard on the body.  I’m bothered because I’m supporting an industry that I am AGAINST.   What we eat is sooooo much more than the size of our pants.  Even if I wasn’t an addict I would still have issues with refined sugar as I do with pasteurized milk and factory farms.  Food is politics.  Food is ethics.  Food is freedom.

And I am no longer free.

I’ve wondered about the truth of my sugar addiction from time to time.  Is it real?  Am I really an addict?  If so, you don’t give an addict their drug of choice in moderation.  We don’t tell people to shoot heroin in moderation.  We don’t tell alcoholics to drink in moderation.  But it’s just sugar….

Just sugar.

My body responds to sugar like a fiend.

Based on my feelings and actions I’m convinced what I hoped wasn’t true is true.

This has been one heck of a reality check.  I’m not mad at myself.  I’m not invincible.  I don’t have the iron will I thought I had and I’m entirely not sure how much “will” plays a part.

I’m human.

I have much more to say about this and I have two more workouts, Arizona and New Mexico, to share very soon but for now I’ll leave you with this.

Hi my name is Jenn and I’m a sugar addict.

Hugs and High Fives,
Jenn

Check out our family’s adventures at New School Nomads as we take a year long (or more) road trip through the United States!

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Today I went to Costco for the 4th time in 4 days.  It was a test of character.

A test of strength.
(Functional fitness, baby!)

A test self-control.
(Oh how I would love to sit down on my cart and eat that entire bag of cranberries right there in the parking lot.)

I’ve been busy busy  with pre-production for the video shoot but….

….there is always time to stop and smell the flowers.
(Even if they are at Home Depot and don’t smell.)

And time to play in the fabric store.
(Even if the fabric sheds enough to confuse me with an Afghan Hound.)

And time to workout.
(Even if it’s short and sweet.)

And time to laugh at a new gimmick.
(Even if I don’t eat sugar.)

Or do I?

You see New Year’s day of 2008 I decided to give up sugar.  It’s a long story but the short version is sugar was controlling my life and I didn’t like it. It made me sad, overweight, and generally screwed with my overall wellbeing. The more I read of about sugar’s effects on the body the more I realized I didn’t want it in my life.

So for one year I “did it”.  I gave it up.  I didn’t eat any obvious refined sugar or “treats”, i.e. candy, cakes, cookies, ect.  That year became two.  My third year I decided I would start allowing myself to eat “treats” as long as they were homemade with unrefined sugar.  This worked brilliantly for about a year and a half.

However, it has started to lead to an extra spoonful of honey or maple syrup here and there.  However, the here and there has become here there here there here there here there.

I don’t like it.

So I’m going to do something about it.

Kick Start Kick the Sugar Challenge

I really enjoyed doing my “Fit(ter) for the Fourth” Challeng last month so I wanted to do another one.  I love how I feel and how my body responds to a low sugar diet so this month is my 4 week Kick Start Kick the Sugar Challenge.

This month is going to be “no added sugars”.  Which means no maple syrup, no honey, no molasses, and none of Brent’s homemade ice cream.  I will keep eating fruit and drinking my water kefir and kombucha.

This week is really not the ideal time to start being a holiday and being up in the mountains for the shoot.  I thought about putting it off but until when? I decided is never really an IDEAL time to start? There is will always be an excuse if you let it.

Feel free to join me.  Or not.  It’s very personal decision and certainly not an easy one for a sweet toothed lasses like myself.

Anyway, I know I said I was going to start a “How to I Make” series this week but it’s going to have to wait until after the video shoot.

Happy 4th of July!

Hugs and High Fives,
Jenn

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Thank you for all the advice and thoughts in dealing with Halloween candy.  I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said all week and decided, since Halloween the “sugar season” kickoff, I’d like to delve into the issue more.

I have a younger sister.  She is my best friend.  We have the same biological parents.  We grew up in the same house in the same decade.  (Mostly.  She missed the 70s by 4 years which means I’m cooler.)  We even shared a room growing up until I tried to throw her out of the window but that’s a story for another time.  We’ve stood side my side in the mirror comparing our bodies and it’s crazy how much they look alike.  We could almost trade heads and no one would know the difference.  For all the similarities in nurture there are a great many differences in nature.  She’s a saver.  I’m a spender.  She lives a few miles from where we grew up.  I live a few thousand miles from where I grew up.  She’s rational.  I’m irrational adventurous.  She can eat a few pieces of candy and then stop.  I can eat a few pounds of candy and then stop.  Every Halloween, I would eat all my candy in a matter of days. DAYS. Jess, however, would dump her candy in her “candy drawer” where it would sit for years.  YEARS.  “Occasionally“, I would sneak in to steal some and the chocolates would look white as they were so old.  It didn’t stop me.  It was still sugar.  I didn’t (and still don’t) understand how she kept a drawer FULL of candy year round.

I have two sons.  They are best friends.  They have the same biological parents.  They are growing up in the same house in the same decade.  They share a room.  Thankfully, my oldest has never tried to throw the youngest out the window.  Their little bodies look almost identical.  But you what?  Yep.  Their personalities are as different as night and day, as is, their reaction to sugar.  My oldest will eat sugar until he is sick.  He has never not finished a candy treat.  On the other hand, my youngest, leaves half eaten pieces of candy lying around to be thrown away.  We go out for ice cream and my oldest eats his before my youngest has even taken 5 bites.  Brent usually ends up finishing it.

It is with these differences that I struggle when it comes to parenting and sugar.  I could give them all their candy and the oldest would eat it ALL within days making himself sick. Breaking my heart in the process as I watched him be overcome by the never ending cravings.  My youngest would eat a few pieces until he lost interest and it would sit getting old like the candy in the hoarder’s my sister’s drawer.

My journey with sugar has been a long one.  It has been more bitter than it has been sweet.  Just being honest.  It took me 30 years to get to the place I am now but, oh, the things I’ve learned about myself on this bittersweet journey.   In the comments, Lisa from I’m an Okie said this, “At least you know yourself and your limitations and you are ok with it. That’s huge I think. Just being ok.” I am ok with my limitations.  She is right.  To come to this place of accepting my limitations and being okay with them is huge.  I do not apologize for my choice to not eat refined sugar.  I do not feel weird when everyone orders dessert and I order tea. I do not mind saying no thank you when someone offers me a treat.  It’s my body and I know it and enjoy caring for it.

Sugar is weird.  It’s can be as innocent as the sweet elderly lady next door and as addictive as heroin.  It’s loved and hated.  It’s celebrated and cursed.  And for some of us it is a curse.  I’ve found my peace with it.  My hope is my oldest son does too.  I’ve been in his shoes.  I understand.  So I do the only thing I can, my best.  I reach out for advice.  (Thank you!) I teach what I know.  I try to lead by example.  But at some point he will have to make his own choices.  It is his body, not mine.  As crazy as it may sound, I think it comes down to faith and in 30 years, I hope I will look back and laugh.  Laugh at making such a big deal out of nothing because everything will be still be ok.  And that’s huge.

Hugs and High Fives,
Jenn

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As a kid, Halloween was one of the most fun nights of the year.  I would sprint through the neighborhoods as if I was being chased by a stranger trying to get to as many houses as possible until the last porch light was turned off.  In a way, I was being chased except my pursuer wasn’t a stranger.  Oh no, my pursuer was very familiar.  It was my never ending craving for sugar.  When I got home, I remember dumping my loot out on the floor and after checking for staples, razor blades and other creepies, I would chew, crunch, and suck until my stomach hurt.  This would continue for about 2 days until the only things that remained were a few of those nasty peanut butter taffies wrapped in the black or orange paper.

(source)

Yet, not even the waxy nastiness could stop me.  Nor would my aching jaw.

Things have changed.  I don’t eat candy.   Not because I’m self-righteous but because almost 3 years ago I accepted my limitation.  I grew tired of being controlled by a 3 pound bag of M&Ms or a pound of Twizzlers. I tried moderation.  I tried portion control.  I tried “one piece of dark chocolate a day”. I tried scaring myself out of eating it by reading of its “evils”.  I tried talking to myself lovingly as if I was a small child, gently reminding myself that one is enough.  Nothing worked except, when I was ready, refusing it.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m still a sugar addict.  I will own that.  There is such thing as too much maple syrup and too much honey.  However, because I don’t eat candy or other sweets made with processed sugar my intake is greatly reduced.  GREATLY REDUCED.  Gone are the days of candy and cookie binges.  After all, maple syrup is expensive.

Now when I trick-or-treat with my kids my past and present selves are at conflict.  On one hand, I want to cheer them on as they race house to house with them squealing as the plastic pumpkins are filled to the brim.  On the other hand, I know we are playing with fire and possibly genetics.  I’m quite certain, one not both, of my kids is a blossoming sugar addict.

Right now about 6 pounds of candy is on a shelf above my desk sitting on top of a stack of old Oxygen Magazines.  I’m allowing them to have one piece per day after a meal.  They think I’m the Halloween Grinch and I think I’m trying to be a good mother.  My kids may think I’m about as awesome as a peanut taffy when it comes to candy but I make up for it by joining them in the costume fun.  Brent and I as Princess Leia and Han.  If you want to see more photos of our Halloween check out our family blog.

What do you do with the Halloween Candy?  If you have kids, how do you deal with all of it?  (Any advice is welcomed.)  Did you dress up?

Hugs and High Fives,
Jenn

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Yesterday, I was walking while my kids were in taekwondo when I stopped in my tracks.

Scattered over the sidewalk in front of me were little pieces of my past.

PEZ!

When I was a kid I would buy the Pez multi-packs and not even bother putting them in the dispenser.  Scandalous.

Oh how I  loved PEZ especially the pink ones.

For a second I considered picking them up off the sidewalk and popping them into my mouth.  I did.  But instead, I took a picture because that’s what you do when you see one of your favorite candies lying on the sidewalk.  Right?

Or maybe that is what sugar addicts do when they see candy.

5 reasons I Don’t Play in Candyland.

1.  I don’t know what’s in it. Have you ever read the ingredients on the back of a PEZ?  I haven’t either but only because I didn’t read labels when I was 16.  Now I have Google.  Here’s the ingredients: Sugar, Corn Syrup, Adipic Acid, Hydrog. Palm Kernel & Palm Oils and Soybean Oil, Mono and Diglycerides, Natural and Artificial Flavors, Artificial Colors, FD&C Red 3, Yellow 5, Yellow 6, Blue 2. Cola Also contains Sodium Bicarb.Color.  Aside from the first ingredient nothing else looks appealing.

2. Candy triggers cravings for other foods I’m not keen on feeding my body.  It’s not just the candy.  The candy says chips.  Then the chips say candy.  It goes on and on and although my mind wants both my body wants neither.

3. Candy makes me it much harder for me to stay lean. (See reason #5)

4.  I didn’t make the candy myself with unrefined sugar.  I LOVE SWEETS.  For two years I avoided all sweets but then last New Year’s I decided to have a taste of my mom’s peanut butter icing.  A mistake. Two hours later, I was hiding in the pantry pounding my nieces’ Cinderella fruit snacks.

I learned two things.  One, I LOVE like want to marry sweets.  I missed sweets.  Two, self-control is “difficult” at best when it comes to sweets.  So I gave myself a “rule” to trick myself into moderation.  This year, I started eating the occasional homemade sweet made with unrefined sugar.  So far it’s working mostly because I’m lazy.  I could (guiltily) finish off 12 boxes of Oreos from the store.  However, I will not make 12 batches of cookies.  Case in point, since I allowed myself this option I have made one batch of cookies using NuNaturals stevia.  ONE batch in almost 8 months.  In this instance, laziness is a strength.

Would this work for everyone?  Probably not but it’s a solution that is working great for me.

5. None of the other reasons would matter if it weren’t for this: It’s easier for me to say no than it is for me to use moderation. I’m at the place where I could eat candy in moderation but I don’t want to.  Simply put the instant gratification of candy is not worth the energy is takes for me to use “moderation” (Nor is it worth increasing my chances of developing  insulin resistance, a suppressed immune system or other health related disorders).  Moderation with candy (or store bought sweets) is harder than not eating it at all.  I’d rather not eat M&Ms than try to talk myself out of eating 5 lbs of M&Ms because (for me) when it comes to candy one bite leads to another and another to a binge.  There have been studies indicating that sugar can be as addictive as drugs and, at this point of my life, I have chosen to just say no. It’s easier and I’m happier.

Hugs and High Fives,
Jenn

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Last week, I was sad.  It happens.

On my way home from errands I decided to stop here because I was depressed hot and wanted a cool drink.  And a distraction from the aching feeling that my life wasn’t enough.  (Ultimately, I know I am enough but sometimes it just doesn’t feel like it.)

“Candy, Soda Pop, Fun.“

Fun? That’s what I needed so I thought about getting these.

(Is it just me or does that M&M guy have an evil look on his face?)

But then I realized I would need these…

and these…

and I would have to “try” these…

and these…

In fact, I could eat every last ounce of sweet sugary distraction and I would still be me.  Only disappointed and with a tummy ache.

So instead I got this.

Ingredients: Pure Juice made from apple, white grape, and peace juice concentrates, sparkling water, citrus acid, and natural flavors, gum arabic, beta carotene, red radish concentrate.

I was pretty good.

Two years ago I would have eaten everything in the store and then cried myself to sleep.

That’s not fun.

Do I miss things like M&Ms and Swedish Fish?  Sure, for about 5 minutes but then I remember that every choice has it’s consequence.

That’s key.

For me.

Moderation is a beautiful thing when possible.

Ironically, I’m walking out the door to go here.  Going for the mini-roadtrip and time with friends not for the cupcakes.  Although if they have one made with honey I’ll be sure to enjoy it.  I’m loving life today and I love you!!!

If you haven’t entered my first giveaway please do!!!!!

Check out Deb’s post about our first kettlebell workout!  Now Deb IS fun!!!

Hugs and High Fives,
Jenn

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I think I may have overestimated my will power.  Maybe I’m not ready for chapter three of The Great Sugar Experiment.

Tuesday night, my husband mentioned he had been wanting ice cream all day.  We were sitting on the couch and he looked so tired, sweet, and cuddly.  I wanted to do something nice for him.  I wanted to do for him what I knew he would do for me (if I was a normal person without ten ton food issues).  “I’ll go get you some,” I said.  We had the polite “No that’s okay”  “Yes, really.”  argument for about 10 seconds and I was out the door pausing briefly to say, “I can do this”.   Yes, it was very dramatic as if I was on my way to make peace with an enemy who had deeply wounded me.  I guess in some ways I was.

About 15 seconds into my drive I started wondering if I could find an ice cream without refined sugar at the large grocery store.  Battle begins.  I don’t need it.  Just make some at home.  They won’t have it.  You said you have to make it.  But if it’s natural sugar.  Maybe….

My husband had specifically said he wanted “tiramisu” ice cream.  I’m wandering down the ice aisle reading the labels seeing EVERY flavor a human could possibly imagine except tiramisu.  My husband is probably the sweetest guy on the planet. However, he can be particular so I called to ask for another acceptable flavor.  “Creme brulee?” he says politely.  Seriously?  I just scoured a mile long grocery aisle looking for tiramisu ice cream and now  he wants “creme brulee” ice cream.   I have boundaries.  I’m nice enough to go out in the wet rainy weather to get him ice cream but not nice enough to search through 8000 pints a second time looking for a flavor that might not even exist.  Annoyed, I read all the Ben and Jerry’s flavors over the phone while drooling worse than a Saint Bernard.  Finally, my husband decides on Oatmeal Cookie Chunk.  I grab the ice cream and hustle towards the checkout when a small section of the freezer catches my eye.  I stop and words like “all natural”, “organic”, “dairy free” pop out.  Hmmmm?  I’ve never seen this little section before.  Of course not, I’ve been avoiding the ice cream aisle for two years.  Could there, would there, should there be a “natural sugar” ice cream?

I start picking up little pints of ice cream scanning the ingredients looking for one with honey or maple when I see these.

Up in the corner it says “agave sweetened”.  I pick up the box and read the back.  Two separate lists of ingredients and sure enough “sugar” (or one of its refined forms) is not listed.  On the first list.  However, on the second list for the chocolate coating I read “beet sugar”.  I know good and well that “beet sugar” is refined sugar but crazy train had already started to pull away and jumping on.  I saw only the word “beet”. Suddenly the ice cream bars belong in the vegetable family.  It’s craziness, I tell ya.  I threw the box in my basket and charged to the check out.  Fast.  A woman on a mission.  Before I come to my senses and put them back.

I get home and nonchalantly tell my husband they had ice cream bars made with “all natural sugar”.  Well almost.  I sit down in front of the fire and unwrap my little bar.  Soooo good.  I’m shooting up.  Two bites into it and I’m already thinking about the 3 left in the box.  This is where the real problem lies.  The bar is not the problem.  While not leafy greens it isn’t the worst thing in the world to be eating.  In fact, for being a processed sweet it’s not that bad with short ingredients list and only 10 grams of sugar mostly from agave nectar.  (Been reading some stuff in question regarding agave…need to do more research but for now I’m considering it an okay natural sugar.)  Ten grams of sugar is about 2.5  teaspoons, a quarter of the sugar in one can of coke and less than half  of what the American Heart Association is now recommending.  It’s me.  I’m the problem.  I spent the next 20 minutes thinking, okay OBSESSING, about the 3 bars left sitting in my freezer. I contemplated sneaking them out through the back door where I could eat them all in private in the  pouring rain.  I’ll just explain to my husband why they are all gone in the morning.  Or maybe he wouldn’t notice?  Or I could run back to the store in the morning to buy replacements? I thinking that I should just eat the whole box and go back to being sugar free tomorrow.  I’m thinking I could just eat one more.  I’m thinking.  I’m thinking.  I’m thinking about NOTHING else except the %$#!@*!@ ice cream bars.

“One is too many and a thousand is never enough.” as fellow blogger Liimu once reminded me.

There’s hope.  There’s always hope.

Ultimately,  I told myself that if I’m going to do this, then I have to do this. Stop at just ONE.  I can’t live the rest of my life, “starting over“.  I grabbed a piece of mint gum, feverishly finished cleaning the kitchen, and rushed to brush my teeth.

The questions remain.  Was it worth it?  Was that one little bar worth the 30 minutes of emotional turmoil that followed…because I’m not going back to where I came from?

I may not have had a second helping but I’m having second thoughts.  Life almost felt easier without desserts.

xoxo
j

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As some of you know I had a secret affair with the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. A serious sugar addiction. On December 31st, 2007, I decided I would not eat candy, cookies, ect. for a year.  A year rolled by and I surprisingly kept my promise to myself.  So I decided to spend another year feeling angry and self-righteous about giving up refined sugar. Two birthdays without cake.  It wasn’t an easy decision to make much less keep but now I see how truly liberating it was. Yes, I said was.

I’ve been so busy settling back in from our vacation I haven’t had much time to blog but I did want to confess to you that I ate some traditional dessert for the first time on January 1st. I wish I could say it was a planned choice but it wasn’t. My mom was making peanut butter icing for a cake and I stuck my finger in the bowl. Five times. Later at my grandma’s house I paced for 10 minutes around the table where the cake sat in all it’s creamy sweet peanut buttery glory and decided to have a few more fingerfulls of icing. It was heaven. I know. Some of you might be thinking, “Some icing? Puleeze! If you’re gonna blow it make it count.” Yeah, had I planned to eat refined sugar I probably would have done that but after 730 days of saying “no” it wasn’t easy emotionally to splurge. I’ll admit it, I felt guilt and failure over some icing. For about 10 seconds. Movin’ on.

So am I going allow myself to eat desserts again? Yes and no. I realized that day, I’m only a package of Oreos away from my old habits because later I was in my mom’s pantry “sneaking” packs of those nasty little chemical fruit snacks for children. Sad. You think if I’m going to have a “treat” I could do better than than that, right?  But I also realized I’d like to be able to enjoy sweet treats like cookies again. My solution? I am going to occasionally allow myself to eat cookies and desserts that are made with natural sugars, e.g. maple syrup, honey, ect,.  It will allow me to experience moderation without committing to moderation. How? It will take some effort if I want a dessert since I’m lazy, busy, and I don’t like to bake. This choice fits right in with my mostly whole food lifestyle. I will still pass on candy bins at the grocery store checkout and on most cookies and desserts. But if I want ice cream, I can have ice cream providing I make it with natural whole food ingredients. In fact, I had my first bowl of homemade ice cream last night using this honey ice cream recipe topped with fresh blackberries. It was soooo good and I enjoyed every bite. Every. Bite. I wanted to take a picture but I was so excited to be having ice cream for the first time in two years that I forgot. Honestly, I wonder if I could have eaten myself into a coma but since we had only made enough for 4 people and it would have taken another hour and a half to make more I stopped after one bowl.

I’m nervous to be moving into this new chapter on my journey as a struggling but mostly recovered sugar addict. I’m testing my boundaries.  It’s an experiment.  I’m aware I’m starting up a potentially very slippery slope.  Hopefully, I won’t be neglecting my family because I’m tucked away in the kitchen baking maple oat bars 8 hours a day or passing out on honey wheat cookie dough.

I’ve learned so much about myself these past two years in regards to my limitations and inner strength involving food. I’ve learned that most often I do best within strict boundaries. That’s just me.  Moderation has it’s place in my life but not when it comes to refined sugar. At least not yet and maybe never.  I’ve learned that I can go out for ice cream with my children without having a nervous breakdown. Or we can now stay home and make our own healthier version. I’ve learned that I don’t have to celebrate with cake on my birthday but this year I might.  Hmmm…I should start thinking about coming up with a honey peanut butter cake recipe.

xoxo
jenn

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The post The Great Sugar Experiment. Chapter 3. appeared first on Girl Heroes.

(CNN) – A sweet tooth could lead to a heart attack, the American Heart Association warns.

Americans are consuming more than 22 teaspoons of sugar each day. And the added sweetness could lead to obesity, high blood pressure, heart attack or stroke, the group says.

The organization warned Americans to cut back on sugar in statement released Monday.

“Sugar has no nutritional value other than to provide calories,” said Rachel K. Johnson, lead author of the association’s statement. “Consuming foods and beverages with excessive amounts of added sugars displaces more nutritious foods and beverages for many people.”

The statement focuses on added sugar, which it defined as sugars and syrups added to food during processing or preparation.

Most women should consume no more than 100 calories, or six teaspoons of this added sugar, a day. Men should not consume more than 150 calories, or nine teaspoons, the Heart Association said.

The No. 1 source of added sugar is soda, it added.

“One 12-ounce can of regular soda contains about 130 calories and eight teaspoons of sugar,” Johnson said.

The Heart Association recommended cutting sugar and maintaining a diet heavy in fruits, vegetables, lean meat, poultry and fish.

Okay so it’s not groundbreaking for most of you.  But I remember a time not too many years ago when I knew I shouldn’t eat sugar because it was bad for my teeth and that’s about it.  In college, I would sit in class washing down a pack of m&m’s with a soda and think for a second about possibly getting a cavity before I shrugged it off with a another gulp of soda.  I’m SO EXCITED to see an association that is generally respected by a lot of people speak out against sugar.  Yes, they could have said a  lot more regarding the consequences of a diet high in sugar and not all sugars are created equal but it’s a start!  I know at the peak of my sugar addiction 100 calories of refined sugar would have been a GIGANTIC improvement for me. My only concern about this article is that people will each just as many sweets but make them sugar-free or diet instead of learning to satisfy those sweet cravings with things like fruit or honey.  But it’s a step and I hope some people will look at their diet and make a change for the better because it’s not just about fitting into those skinny jeans anymore (not that it was ever just about that ;)) but it’s about saving or improving your life.  The American Heart Association says so!

xoxo
j

The post Sugar? So what? appeared first on Girl Heroes.