That’s huge.
Thank you for all the advice and thoughts in dealing with Halloween candy. I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said all week and decided, since Halloween the “sugar season” kickoff, I’d like to delve into the issue more.
I have a younger sister. She is my best friend. We have the same biological parents. We grew up in the same house in the same decade. (Mostly. She missed the 70s by 4 years which means I’m cooler.) We even shared a room growing up until I tried to throw her out of the window but that’s a story for another time. We’ve stood side my side in the mirror comparing our bodies and it’s crazy how much they look alike. We could almost trade heads and no one would know the difference. For all the similarities in nurture there are a great many differences in nature. She’s a saver. I’m a spender. She lives a few miles from where we grew up. I live a few thousand miles from where I grew up. She’s rational. I’m irrational adventurous. She can eat a few pieces of candy and then stop. I can eat a few pounds of candy and then stop. Every Halloween, I would eat all my candy in a matter of days. DAYS. Jess, however, would dump her candy in her “candy drawer” where it would sit for years. YEARS. “Occasionally“, I would sneak in to steal some and the chocolates would look white as they were so old. It didn’t stop me. It was still sugar. I didn’t (and still don’t) understand how she kept a drawer FULL of candy year round.
I have two sons. They are best friends. They have the same biological parents. They are growing up in the same house in the same decade. They share a room. Thankfully, my oldest has never tried to throw the youngest out the window. Their little bodies look almost identical. But you what? Yep. Their personalities are as different as night and day, as is, their reaction to sugar. My oldest will eat sugar until he is sick. He has never not finished a candy treat. On the other hand, my youngest, leaves half eaten pieces of candy lying around to be thrown away. We go out for ice cream and my oldest eats his before my youngest has even taken 5 bites. Brent usually ends up finishing it.
It is with these differences that I struggle when it comes to parenting and sugar. I could give them all their candy and the oldest would eat it ALL within days making himself sick. Breaking my heart in the process as I watched him be overcome by the never ending cravings. My youngest would eat a few pieces until he lost interest and it would sit getting old like the candy in the hoarder’s my sister’s drawer.
My journey with sugar has been a long one. It has been more bitter than it has been sweet. Just being honest. It took me 30 years to get to the place I am now but, oh, the things I’ve learned about myself on this bittersweet journey. In the comments, Lisa from I’m an Okie said this, “At least you know yourself and your limitations and you are ok with it. That’s huge I think. Just being ok.” I am ok with my limitations. She is right. To come to this place of accepting my limitations and being okay with them is huge. I do not apologize for my choice to not eat refined sugar. I do not feel weird when everyone orders dessert and I order tea. I do not mind saying no thank you when someone offers me a treat. It’s my body and I know it and enjoy caring for it.
Sugar is weird. It’s can be as innocent as the sweet elderly lady next door and as addictive as heroin. It’s loved and hated. It’s celebrated and cursed. And for some of us it is a curse. I’ve found my peace with it. My hope is my oldest son does too. I’ve been in his shoes. I understand. So I do the only thing I can, my best. I reach out for advice. (Thank you!) I teach what I know. I try to lead by example. But at some point he will have to make his own choices. It is his body, not mine. As crazy as it may sound, I think it comes down to faith and in 30 years, I hope I will look back and laugh. Laugh at making such a big deal out of nothing because everything will be still be ok. And that’s huge.
Hugs and High Fives,
Jenn
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This is my (almost) sane quest for insane health. Let's 
I feel honored that my comment help spawn a post.
I find that you can accept that limitation and part of your self and just say ok…sugar isn’t good for ME and I just need to stay away from it to treat my body well. You don’t struggle with feelings of it being good or bad or should you have it or should you not. It’s just not for you..and it sounds like you’ve gotten to a point where that fact doesn’t bother you anymore.
Exactly. It’s been three years since I’ve had any refined sugar so I don’t even really think about it any more. I will keep writing about it though b/c I know it helps other people. The first year was hard and the hardest part was accepting the fact I was an addict. I’ve never had an addiction to drugs or alcohol but from what I’ve read the mental acceptance sounds very similar.
It’s watching my oldest son struggle with it. That is hard.
It is amazing how different foods affect us differently. And that’s why it is so important that we know ourselves, which you do! I’m glad you’ve made peace with it. I wish people would be more understanding of the fact that we are all different and can/can’t handle different foods. I can’t eat quite a few things, and I know that people sometimes don’t understand.
I have also always believed that we are born with certain food preferences that are very little influenced by our environment. Finally, I have a feeling you will look back in 30 years and realize that you didn’t need to worry so much… Hugs!
Thank you Andrea.
I hear ya about more people understanding the fact we are all different regarding food. I read this is blogs a lot. Bloggers feeling they need to justify their choices of not eating certain thing or counting calories or….for what seems like fear of being labeled with an ED. I think that is B.S. (labeling people with EDs b/c they eat different) Everybody is different physically, mentally, and spiritually therefore it follows that how we eat would be be different as well. Okay. I’m practically writing a new post. 😉
I love this post! First because my younger sis (who also missed the 70’s by 4 years) is my best friend too! But even more so because you have made your peace with yourself and with sugar. You’re right: That. Is. Huge. Love you!
You too! xoxo
How funny our sisters are the same age!
I saw your sister over the weekend…she looks great! I am a lot like her when it comes to candy…I use to have to throw my halloween candy away because it got so old! The nice thing about you understanding your sugar addiction is that you will be able to help your son if he ever needs it. Maybe his battle won’t be so long or hard because he has someone who has been down that road.
I don’t get you “hoarders”. 😉 What a encouraging comment regarding parenting. Thank you!
I have a sister I enjoyed the 60’s with! And SHE had the petrified candy one year after Halloween/Christmas/Easter. Me?… watch those fingers cuz they are going down with the sweets. It took me a mere 51 years to finally face this demon down in myself. And for the first time in my life I can (and do) pass on all deserts…even the time someone shoved a chocolate right in my face. October 23rd was my one year anniversary of living without something that I once believed could never be done. And life is as sweet as ever. Thank you for this refreshing blog.
WOW!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! That is HUGE!!!!
Thank you for reading!
My sister was like yours, and I am more like you. So that just goes to show you that it isn’t the parenting, but something else entirely.
I also stole my sister’s candy…hahaha! I don’t think she ever realized it either. Me? I would have known…wait, what?! There’s only 8 peanut butter cups – I used to have 9!!!
Ha ha!!! Totally. My son is that way too!!! He knows the exact number!!!!
Totally Huge.
Great post.
xo
Thanks Martha. Yes, you know how huge this really is for me.
Such a great post Jenn. I hope that your oldest won’t have to suffer as you did. By him knowing that you are of the same biology, perhaps it will be easier for him. Nature, nurture, mystery still. Yet thank goodness that you are cool with the status quo. Because it’s what is nourishing for you and your body.
Thanks Debs. I hope you are right regarding my oldest. (((hugs)))
What a great post! I have always been so perplexed, and often angry when I was younger, why both my older and younger brothers never struggled with the food and weight issues that I did. I not only had an addiction to sugar, but food. I would eat and eat and eat, and they (being much more active with their hockey teams) would stop when full. Food would remain on their plates, they didn’t continue to grow in waist size as they got older and it made me so angry.
Eventually the anger turned to appreciation and the envy turned to pride. I may have not had the easy route, but I had the blessing of learning more about myself by the age of 25 than most do in their 20’s.
What a great perspective Monica. I’m glad you have come around and turned those negative feelings into positive. That says a lot about you!!! 😀
I have 3 girls (12, 8 & 4) and Halloween is still haunting us in the form of sugar. My oldest has hers laid out in the order of which theyll be eaten for the day on her desk. The remaining goodies have been sorted and are tucked away (hoarded) in her closet. NO ONE better go in her closet! We’ve been warned. Her candy will most likely last until she receives her Easter basket. My 8 year old has “the crummy candy” left. You know, the smarties, lollipops, tootsie rolls. She is definately NOT the saver that her sister is.
I notice a significant mood change when they eat too much. I wish I could just throw it all away. I think next year I’ll put an expiration on the Halloween candy. After 7 days it goes in the trash. I offered to buy it back from them but they weren’t interested.
Thanks for anther great perspective. The sibling dynamic IS SO interesting.
I think I’m going to charge interest on all the candy you “stole”.
Fantastic post. I too am watching the differences in my kids arise and reflecting back on my childhood in the process. My daughter, like me, likes the sweets and I have to limit. Still – I’m trying to really watch her and not project my issues onto her. This mothering thing, it’s tough!
Thanks for making me think this morning.
Tough, indeed. Thanks for stopping by!