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A 10 Minute Birthday Manifesto

Today is my birthday and I have 10 minutes before we hit the road and head north. Ten minutes to write a birthday manifesto to myself.

I lived my twenties in fear. Fear of fat. Fear of being swallowed up by depression. Fear of what others thought. Fear of being hurt by people. Fear of who I was. Fear of who I wasn’t. Fear of being abandoned by God.

If someone would have told me 15 years ago as a young adult that this is what my life would look like at 35 years of living, I wouldn’t have believed it. I would not have believed that I would be married for 13 years to my soulmate. I would not have believed I would have two children. I would not have believed I would love homeschooling my children. I would not have believed this gypsy dream would be my life.

Life continued on and with time it carved, like a river through a canyon, a shape of its own. With each passing year, I second guessed less and the box I put life in grew bigger and bigger.

Thirty came and went. It wasn’t so bad. It was great. Great to be alive even if it meant more cellulite.

Yes, there have still been disappointments, hurts, failures, broken dreams, and bad hair days. But I’m alive and my purpose has never felt clearer.

My purpose is to breathe with gratitude for the gifts I don’t deserve. My purpose is to kneel before and be as I am before my Creator. My purpose is to trust that it’s okay. The 5 minutes, 35 years, or whatever my days left may be are there to embrace with every cell of this body and soul of mine.

Life is amazing. Life is a gift. Life is worth living and living well. I haven’t always believed this.

To my younger self, I say thank you. Thank you for opening your heart to others and to God.

To my older self, I say I look forward to meeting you and the adventures we will have.

To my God, I have no words. You are everything. The beginning, the end, and every breath in between.

This year I want to laugh more, risk more, forgive more, wonder more, trust more, and love more.

I want to be a woman running fearlessly barefoot with my hair in the air and a soul full of the Spirit.

Hugs and High Fives,
Jenn

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About jennincat

I'm so happy you stopped by my little corner of the web where I write about fitness, food, and amazing women I "meet". I live in California with my wonderful husband and two rambunctious boys. I'm a personal trainer and dreamer. I enjoy most things but some of my favorites are reading, acting, camping, cooking, music, writing, traveling, and being in the moment with my favorite people! You can read more about me here! I hope you stop by often!
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20 Responses to “A 10 Minute Birthday Manifesto”

  1. On August 28, 2012 at 10:55 am Tamara responded with... #

    Happiest of birthdays to you, dear Jenn!!

    I wish I’d realized it was this week, I would have brought you a birthday card, at least!

    This is a lovely, moving post and I absolutely adore the photo. I *think* it may even have answered my dune-related question in my comment on your previous post… 😀 xoxo

    Reply
    • On August 28, 2012 at 8:36 pm jennincat responded with... #

      Thank you Tamara! Yep, you guessed right! We shot it on the dunes. It was beautiful!

      Reply
      • On August 29, 2012 at 6:55 pm Tamara responded with... #

        I’m glad you were able to! I can’t wait to see it. xox

        Reply
  2. On August 28, 2012 at 11:34 am Gina responded with... #

    Happy Birthday! You are awesome. This should be called Womanifesto or Hero-ifesto!

    Your last sentence got me choked up…

    Reply
    • On August 28, 2012 at 8:34 pm jennincat responded with... #

      Thank you Gina. You are so kind. Xo

      Reply
  3. On August 28, 2012 at 12:11 pm Jill responded with... #

    Happy Birthday! You deserve lots of wonderfulness!

    Reply
    • On August 28, 2012 at 8:33 pm jennincat responded with... #

      Thank you Jill. Xo

      Reply
  4. On August 28, 2012 at 1:13 pm Weewa responded with... #

    A post of hope, encouragement and wisdom. I read it with happy tears !!! Happy Birthday :)

    Reply
    • On August 28, 2012 at 8:33 pm jennincat responded with... #

      Thanks mom. Love you!

      Reply
  5. On August 28, 2012 at 4:31 pm KCLAnderson (Karen) responded with... #

    Happy birthday you dear, sweet woman!! I am grateful for you!

    Reply
    • On August 28, 2012 at 8:32 pm jennincat responded with... #

      Thank you Karen. I feel the same about you. Xo

      Reply
  6. On August 28, 2012 at 4:40 pm Deb (SmoothieGirlEatsToo) responded with... #

    I got all choked up reading this- you are a beautiful writer and a beautiful person. Happiest of birthdays to you!

    Reply
    • On August 28, 2012 at 8:31 pm jennincat responded with... #

      Thank you Debs. I’m thankful for your friendship! Xo

      Reply
  7. On August 28, 2012 at 6:05 pm Aunt Christine responded with... #

    What a beautiful birthday post. You are such a special person with so much talent to share.

    Reply
    • On August 28, 2012 at 8:30 pm jennincat responded with... #

      Thank you Christine. Love you!

      Reply
  8. On August 28, 2012 at 7:19 pm wandering educators responded with... #

    Happiest birthday wishes!! and LIFE is good. I’m so grateful for your presence and joy in our lives!

    Reply
    • On August 28, 2012 at 8:30 pm jennincat responded with... #

      Thank you Jessie. The feeling is mutual!

      Reply
  9. On August 29, 2012 at 6:39 am Katie responded with... #

    Happy Birthday!!! I really hope we get a chance to meet up next week!!

    Reply
    • On August 29, 2012 at 7:49 pm jennincat responded with... #

      Thank you! Me too! We are in the U.P. now. I’ll be in touch as we make our way over.

      Reply

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About this article

  • Posted on August 28, 2012
  • Archived in Musings
  • There are 20 responses.
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