We did it!

We drove from Key West to Alaska!

When we started out I had all these grand intentions of working out in amazing locations. As it turned out we were moving very fast because I was on a writing schedule for Go RVing and winter was (is) on our heels so we couldn’t dawdle. It’s not the easiest thing to fit in workouts or get motivated while traveling in an RV full time but add in a baby, 1000s of miles under our tires in a matter of weeks, travel planning,  sightseeing, normal family stuff, writing deadlines and fitting in workouts becomes even more challenging. It was kinda like working full time while being on vacation.

Ummm….not complaining!

I’m not complaining because it was one of the best summer’s of my life! We fell in love with Alaska. I lost count on how many times Brent and I had the “what would it be like to live here” discussion. If it wasn’t so far from family I really think we would live there half of the year.  The beauty of Alaska is beyond words. Anyway it’s all documented on the Go RVing blog.

We might have been busy hiking, seeing glaciers, spotting wildlife, and working but I did find time to fit in a few workouts here and there. I think they averaged to about 1.5 a week. Most of them I did with my new workout partner Thing 1. He’s quite disciplined that one and puts me to shame!

Here are a few of the spots. I didn’t bother capturing all of them.

At a rest stop on our way to Chicken, Alaska.
It’s hard to see but that’s the Alaska Range in the background.

This was outside on Palmer on the Knik River where we camped for 6 nights.

This was at a campground near Fort Nelson in Canada.

There is a lot of construction on the Alaska Highway and sometimes you have to wait 15-30 minutes for the pilot car to lead you down the road. Brent (It was his idea this time. <=== Somethings just don’t change.) thought it was a perfect time for a mini workout.

We are getting to old to care what people think.

This was my favorite workout spot of all on the spit in Homer, Alaska.
Have you been to Homer?  It’s so rad!

Since I spent way more time sightseeing that working out here are some glimpses from the last few months on the road.

(The top middle is Mount McKinley or Denali!)

This guy is getting so big! He’ll be as heavy as my kettlebell soon!

Hugs and High Fives,
Jenn

Check out our family’s adventures at Newschool Nomads as we travel in our RV through the United States!

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The post We did it!!! (And I even managed a few workouts.) appeared first on Girl Heroes.

Hi there! I haven’t disappeared on the Alaska Highway.

We are still making our way up to Alaska from Key West, FL. It’s kinda crazy traveling with an infant and keeping up with our big boys. This is going to be one memorable adventure. I can’t believe how much we’ve seen the last two months. Between caring for my family and all the traveling I haven’t had much time to write but I’m still documenting our journey at  Go RVing.

Last week, I decided it was time to FINALLY pull out the kettlebells and pull-up bar. Thing 3 is 13 weeks old and I felt like my body was ready. I did my first kettlebell workout in months in Banff National Park. It’s hard to tell in the picture above because it was a cloudy day but the views were phenomenal. Our RV was surrounded by gorgeous mountains.

Finding time to workout with an infant is no joke. We walked and walked until he fell asleep in his stroller and then I busted out a quick workout while he slept nearby. I was a little bummed to realize I had to use two bands to do pull-ups. Losing strength was to be expected but I didn’t know just how much!

We also did some hiking last week. I hiked 2 miles uphill in the rain with about 30 extra pounds between Thing 3 and my backpack. My legs were spent at the end! That’s Lake Louise in the background.

This was a beautiful hike in Jasper.

Thing 3 seems to really enjoy being out in nature. If he is fussy I’ll carry him outside and being in trees seems to calm him down…just like his mama.

Before we headed up to Banff we stopped at Costco in Calgary to stock up. I may or may not have 18 heads of romaine in my fridge! After all we have a long remote drive, over 1500 miles, ahead of us to Alaska. I wouldn’t want to run out of lettuce.

We don’t have internet here in Canada unless we stop at a coffee shop or library so I’m not able to update as much as I like. Hopefully that will change once we get to Alaska.

Until then here’s the little big guy who is keeping my hands full and heart happy!

Hugs and High Fives,
Jenn

Check out our family’s adventures at Newschool Nomads as we travel in our RV through the United States!

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So here’s our big news…

We are going to ALASKA!!!

We are not just going to Alaska we are making it an epic road trip of 6000 miles from Key West to Alaska. I’m so excited! Alaska has been on our dream list since we left but until now we’ve only talked about it. Honestly, driving the Alaskan highway seemed a little scary to me. I’ve heard it can be very remote at places. What if we run out of gas? What if we are in an accident and there isn’t reception? What if? What if? What if? But after seeing the 48 states we knew it was time to set those “what ifs” aside and make our dream a reality so here we go!

Go RVing is partnering with us on the trip so I’ll be sharing our weekly update on their blog. Our first week in Key West was posted this week. I’ll certainly be sharing parts of it here too but if you are interested in the details beyond food and fitness check out my posts on the Go RVing blog. Or you can like Newschool Nomads on Facebook. I post photos daily and share the Go RVing posts.

So going to Alaska means I get to film my 49th kettlebell workout. Filming another kettlebell workout also means I need to deal with some body image stuff.

It’s been 8 weeks since Thing 3 was born and my body is nowhere near where it was and to tell you the truth I have mixed feelings about it.

Don’t Care Days

Much of the time, I really don’t care.

Truly don’t care. It’s quite freeing.

(Although to be honest, most days my hair is a mess and I don’t brush my teeth until noon so maybe I’m just “letting myself go” in the name of freedom!)

I even have this vision of myself that’s smaller than reality. For instance, the other day I went shopping and I grabbed a few pairs of shorts that by looking at them I was SURE they were going to fit. Into the dressing room I went and was shocked that I couldn’t get them up over my thighs. I had to get two sizes bigger than what I thought.

Here’s the really good part.

I mentally shrugged my shoulders and felt nothing.

Nothing.

There was no emotional low afterwards because my self worth was not attached to my size. Grabbing a different size of short was like deciding a different color would look better.

It’s a sign I have either come a long way in regards to body image or I’m just too dang tired to care. Probably a bit of both.

Do Care Days

Then there are days when I button up my pants and notice my tummy pushing out and over the waistband and think, I really need to start working out again and maybe I shouldn’t have eaten those three heaping spoonfuls of almond butter.

And the tone I’m using with myself may not be so nice.

Then I think of filming my Alaska workout and feel a little horrified imagining how much my butt is going to jiggle when I do swings.

Images of all these other fit bloggers fill my mind with self doubt.

I remind myself….

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” – Attributed to Theodore Roosevelt

…and I move on.

___

When we first hit the road, I had all these grand ideas of filming a workout in every state with a six pack. Months before we left I thought I’ll get my six pack back but as our departure date grew close I didn’t get any leaner.

Once we hit the road, I still didn’t get leaner. In fact, I started to gain weight especially when I added sugar back into my diet. I decided I would rather indulge in the unique culinary experiences to be had all over the country than to chase after a body type that would require huge amounts of discipline. (Side note: I don’t see anything wrong with having this type of body and the discipline it requires as long as the person is still thriving emotionally, relationally, and spiritually. There’s too much body bashing out there from all directions and I don’t want to join the mob.)

Two and half years later, I’m back at a size that may have triggered depression 6 years ago.

Now things are different. There are days I care and days I don’t. The “don’t care” days far outnumber the “do care” days. Perhaps when I’m less sleep deprived I’ll care more.

But one thing is for sure whether I do dare or don’t care, I’m done attaching my self worth to my size.

Done.

So I’m heading up to Alaska and I’m going to film my 49th kettlebell workout and if I’m still two sizes bigger then so be it. Take it as a sign that I’m thoroughly enjoying my life and body as it is.

Or that I’m still seriously sleep deprived.

Or maybe that this little guy’s face melts aways all the worries in the world.

I hope all is well with you. Aside from being sleep deprived things are going well in our world on wheels!

Hugs and High Fives,
Jenn

Check out our family’s adventures at Newschool Nomads as we travel in our RV through the United States!

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Hello from the Florida Keys! This is one of our favorite places to visit. It’s were I filmed my Florida kettlebell workout two years ago.

I’m doing well and I have some very exciting news (at least I’m super excited!) that I’m going to share next week. There is a BIG adventure ahead but until then here is a little update on life lately.

The last few weeks have been focused on finding our family’s new “normal”…well as normal as life on the road in an RV can be.  As those of you with kids know, having a new baby is a challenging but wonderful adjustment. Trying to figure out how to do homeschool, travel, exercise, work, errands, and everything else that needs to be done with a new little person that requires constant attention can be overwhelming. I’ve kept my expectations low but have been blown away by my older boys willingness to help. The other day Thing 2 even watched the baby and folded laundry while I took a shower! Thing 1 made dinner the other night and both help with daily chores!  

I did follow my midwives recommendation and rested thoroughly for 3 weeks. When she told me about the “21 day rest rule” I was very worried about going stir crazy. That did happen a few times but for the most part those 21 days very special and I’ll cherish that time always . My days were spent bonding with Thing 3 and spending time with the older boys. I did my best to not even think about the things that “needed” to be done and instead I focused on really being in the moment with my  littles or not so littles. At times it was a bit surreal to be nursing a baby and having heart to heart talks with my teenager.

I was surprised to find myself sad to resume normal activities after 21 days of doing nothing. Don’t get me wrong I was excited to be up and about but I found myself missing those long days cuddling and nursing the baby. I wish I would have done the same thing with my older boys but I’m very grateful for my wise midwife who insisted that I do this with Thing 3. I’m also grateful to Brent and my parents who recognized how important this time was for my healing and Thing 3. I’m fully aware that not all women have this type of support and I don’t take it for granted.

I’ll be six weeks postpartum tomorrow but I won’t likely be resuming strength training for another 4-6 weeks. My labor and delivery were very difficult and my body is going to need more time than average to heal.  If I’m understanding “Dr Google” correctly, there may be some damage that is going to take many months to heal and perhaps a lifetime of conscious lifestyle choices to manage.  My midwife didn’t want to give me a diagnosis before giving my body plenty of time to heal so I’m trying to remain hopeful that my body will continue to repair itself. Fingers crossed Dr Google is wrong!

Since I’m not strength training I started walking and doing some light yoga. Thing 3 likes being in the stroller and he often falls asleep.  So I’m hoping that when I am able to resume strength training I’ll be able to go on walks and do a short kettlebell workout while he chills in his stroller afterwards.

Hugs and High Fives,
Jenn

Check out our family’s adventures at Newschool Nomads as we travel in our RV through the United States!

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The post Life Lately – Finding a New “Normal” with Baby appeared first on Girl Heroes.

Thing 3 was born at home in our RV on April 12th. It was by far the most painful but also one of the most beautiful and empowering experiences in my life. We had a birth photographer so as soon as I get those pictures and can find the time I’ll share the story.

I’m grateful to report that Thing 3 is healthy and thriving. Nursing is going well and he gained his birthweight back plus 2 oz by the time he was 10 days old. I’m recovering slowly and couldn’t be more in love with this little guy.

It’s really cool to have a baby and teenagers at the same time. Not only is it fun to watch them interact with the baby but I have a new much broader perspective and know how fast this time will go. I don’t mind getting up at 2 am for feedings and I’m spending every second I can cuddling and taking in his newborn smell.

An hour after birth.

Here are some pictures of our first week together.

My midwife has given me a “21 day rule”. Meaning I’m not supposed to do much for 21 days until my body heals. At first I was resistant but the more I thought about it the more it made sense. My body went through a lot the last 9 months and certainly during the 19 hours of back labor and pushing out a posterior baby. (I ended up with 15 stitches! Yikes!) Numerous times I’ve heard women talk about how quickly they were back on their feet and how quickly they “bounced back”.

I’m choosing to pass on that “badge of honor”. Instead, I’m going to give my body the time it needs to heal and spend this time bonding with my sweet new baby.

Also I’m not planning to start an exercise routine until at least 6 weeks postpartum and it will most likely be 8+ weeks. Again, I want to give my body adequate time to fully heal. I have nothing to prove. That doesn’t mean I don’t miss being active.  I’m really looking forward to swinging kettlebells and yoga again. In the meantime, I’m learning more about fitness by taking an online course to get some CEUs needed to maintain my personal trainer certification.

I know there has been a lot of baby stuff the last few months. It’s where I’m at but I do  plan to start posting more about fitness again. I have quite a few more videos to edit and I plan on sharing my journey about losing the baby weight. I gained about 41 pounds and two weeks after giving birth have about 20 pounds left to lose. Not only that but we plan to start traveling again in about a month. We are currently trying to decide if we want to head back out west, up to Maine, or perhaps up to Alaska. So there is definitely some interesting times ahead.  In the meantime, I hope you’ll stick around.

Hugs and High Fives,
Jenn

Keep up with my kettlebell workouts, real food recipes, and more in one of three ways! 1. Sign up to have posts emailed to your inbox. 2. Subscribe to the RSS Feed or 3. “like” Girl Heroes on Facebook. Simple dimple!

Journey with our family on the road at Newschool Nomads as we travel fulltime in RV through the United States.

The post Welcome Thing 3!!!! appeared first on Girl Heroes.

So I’ve been eating pineapple and dates, walking, doing spinning babies exercises (don’t ask), and spent more time on my hands and knees these last few weeks than I have in my entire life. (I really should have invested in knee pads.) I’ve also turned in all my Go RVing assignments, written a few drafts for my blogs, cleaned the RV multiple times, and stocked my fridge and freezer with food. I even trimmed my bangs just in case I was subconsciously being stressed out by them and besides labor is uncomfortable enough without being poked in the eyes. Still no baby. Maybe I’m going to be the first woman to be pregant forever and I’ll get to be on the cover of Time or something.

In the meantime, here is Thing 2’s birth story.

After my less than ideal experience birthing Thing 1, I knew I wanted a different kind of birth if possible. Recovering from a c-section was awful but what was worse was not being able to hold him right away and the problems it caused with nursing. With my next baby I was determined to be able to hold him immediately assuming he was healthy and my determination led to a different set of choices.

The Prenatal Days

We started trying for another baby when Thing 1 was a little over a year. It didn’t take long to get pregnant but I ended up miscarrying due to a blighted ovum.  A few months later, I found out I was pregnant again when Brent brought me some Jack in the Box chicken fingers and I almost threw up at the sight of them. Although Jack in the Box could make an 80 year old man feel like he had morning sickness.

Emotional/Spiritual/Relational

This pregnancy was a completely different game than my previous pregnancy. I still went to therapy but only once or twice a month. For the most part, I had overcome the mental struggles and depression. We had bought our first house, a fixer upper, and were busy making it our home. However, the first few years of our marriage had been rough on Brent and I and we faced some problems. It wasn’t fun but he started going to therapy with me and over the course of the pregnancy we began to communicate better and develop an even deeper understanding of each other. I’m so thankful that we chose to face and resolve those problems before our second baby arrived.

Physical

Like Thing 1, morning sickness was pretty rough but around 12 weeks it went away. I still didn’t know much about exercise and nutrition but I knew I didn’t want to gain 70 pounds again. Especially since I hadn’t lost all of the weight I had gained with Thing 1. I also knew that eating a pint of ice cream and multiple packs of candy a day wouldn’t help anything so I ate much better in comparison and ended up gaining about half the weight. I hadn’t started strength training at that point in my life but we were busy fixing up our house so without knowing it I was doing all sorts of functional fitness. I remember  shoveling huge piles of dirt at 6 months pregnant as well painting, sanding, and gardening. I was on my feet working and taking care of a toddler for hours every day.

Educational

It never really occurred to me that I wouldn’t be able to do a VBAC (vaginally birth after cesarean). In fact during that time VBACs were actually more common than they are now as I would find out eleven years later. In 1999 the ACOG recommended that a doctor to be immediately available to perform a cesarean resulting in many hospitals banning vbacs over the next few years. Luckily, at the time of my pregnancy my hospital had not issued a ban. Unfortunately, the hospital has since changed their policy. Anyway, having a vbac didn’t seem like a big deal or a risk at the time. It seemed like what any healthy woman should do if they so desired.

It should also be noted that due the increase of c-sections (It’s now 1 in every 3 women.) in 2010 the ACOG released less restrictive guidelines on VBACS and said, “most women with one previous cesarean delivery with a low-transverse incision are candidates for and should be counseled about VBAC and offered a TOLAC” (trial of labor after cesarean). Unfortunately, many (most?) doctors and hospitals still stick with the old guidelines even when a repeat cesarean carries more risks compared to a vbac. Even the mainstream Mayo Clinic says,  “The risks associated with a vaginal delivery are lower than the risks associated with a C-section overall.”

All that to say I was determined to experience a natural birth and was willing to take the extra steps in education to make that happen.

We decided to take a Bradley Childbirth Class this time around and read the book, Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way: Revised Edition. It has the worst pictures in a birth book ever but has some really great advice especially for the partner. I also read the The Thinking Woman’s Guide to a Better Birth by Henci Goer. A really good read btw.

Instead of using my previous doctor who was supportive of vbacs, I started seeing a midwife at his practice and planned for a natural birth. We hired the same doula that we had used for our first birth and since I was facing my fears this time around I hoped I’d actually be able to lean into her for support unlike the last time.

Birth

This time around I was impatient and a little worried about having a big baby again so I decided to drink castor oil and have my membranes stripped the day of my due date. Whether it was the castor oil or just a coincidence I don’t know but it worked. I went into a labor a few hours later. I have a few words to describe labor.

Back labor was hell.

It felt like someone was drilling into my spinal column without anesthesia. I moved from my bed to the tub and back again. At one point, I felt like I was going mad and ran around our bedroom screaming. All my preparation felt useless and it became a living nightmare. I wanted to kill anyone said labor could be pleasant or enjoyable. Those women had clearly never experienced back labor. (For the record, I am still hopeful that labor can be pleasant and doesn’t have to be painful but we’ll see in the upcoming days.)

Despite the worse pain in my life, I was determined to have a successful vbac and had learned that the longer I stayed at home laboring the better chance I had of achieving that goal. After what felt like 10,000 years I started to get the urge to push and my doula, who was a midwife in training, checked me to find out I was dilated to 8 cm. Time to go to the hospital.

Getting to the hospital was a blur. I road in my doula’s car “just in case” and Brent followed us. After checking in and getting a room, a nurse scolded me for pushing because my midwife hadn’t arrived. My doula whispered to me and said if I wanted to push gently I could. Thank God because it hurt like hell to not push.

My midwife arrived and checked me I was still at an 8 cm. At this point I was mentally and physically exhausted and felt like I would do anything to get rid of the pain. I asked for an epidural and despite being so far along in labor my midwife thought it would be a good idea so I could get some rest before I pushed. A few minutes later I felt the relief of the epidural and it wasn’t long before I fell asleep for a few hours.

Early in the morning, my midwife came back and found I still had a “lip” around my cervix. In other words, I wasn’t 100% dilated so she pushed back the lip and asked for the epidural to be turned off. What?!?! No, I begged for it to be left on but she insisted that the baby would be out before it wore off.

Wrong.

What we didn’t know (or if my midwife knew she didn’t tell me) was Thing 2 was posterior or facing up instead of being in the ideal position of looking at my backbone where the smallest part of his head comes out first. This was why I was having such ferocious back labor. His skull was grinding against my spine. The same with pushing. For over two hours, I pushed what felt like a stuck bowling ball.

If you remember from Thing 1’s birth story I had a few issues with birth. While I was no longer totally grossed out by birth, there was no way I was going to look in a mirror and Brent was not allowed to look down there either. (He doesn’t have any issues with birth but totally respects my feelings.) My midwife suggested Brent sit in between my legs and we would both pull on opposites ends of a towel while I pushed. Ummm….no. But my midwife insisted so she draped a small towel over that area and would periodically peek under to towel to check my progress. In hindsight, it was kinda funny. The towel pushing also really helped me to push more efficiently and it felt good to work as a team.

Finally two hours later, I saw Thing 2’s face looking right up at me. He never did turn and came out posterior. My midwife took my hands and slipped them under his armpits and I pulled him the rest of the way out and up to my chest. A completely different experience than having my baby whisked by me in the operating room.

We spent the night in my hospital room and he never left my side. It was wonderful. The nurses on the other hand were less than wonderful. It seems they had to come in every five minutes for something. At one point, I was falling asleep and someone came in rudely insisted I get out of bed and sit on a sitz bath. Later, another woke me and Thing 2 up and said we “had to nurse”. But after my previous birth I really didn’t care too much. They were just doing their job and I was just happy to have not been sliced open and have my baby by my side.

Postpartum

I don’t know if it was not having a c-section or being in a better mental space or both but postpartum was much easier this time around. Recovering from a vaginal birth wasn’t a walk in the park. I had torn and had stitches but it sure was a heck of a lot easier than a recovering from a c-section. I did have some postpartum depression but it wasn’t as bad as the first time.

Nursing went well and my milk came in much quicker than with my previous delivery. I wasn’t hooking myself up to a breast pump for hours a day. That was a huge relief.

My biggest challenge was Thing 1. He and I were so close (we still are) and he wasn’t particularly excited about his new baby brother. In fact, a few days after bringing the baby home, he grabbed my cheeks in anger and screamed in my face. It broke my heart to see him so upset but with time he realized that he was still loved.

What I learned

I learned that hard work pays off. I spent hours educating myself and preparing for a vbac. I learned you have to stay flexible. Getting an epidural wasn’t part of my plan but it turned out to be a good choice because it allowed me to get some rest which helped with the two hours of pushing that followed.

I learned that nutrition makes a difference. As I said in my other birth post, I ate a terrible high sugar diet with Thing 1 and gained almost 70 pounds. While my diet was far from perfect with Thing 2, I did “watch what I ate” and gained about half the weight. Thing 2 weighed a full two pounds less than Thing 1.

Most importantly, I learned love multiplies. Before Thing 2 was born, I remember thinking how could I possibly ever love another child as much as Thing 1. I know that may sound weird but it was something that would cross my mind every so often. I’m not the kind of woman who necessarily bonds with my babies while they are still in utero. I wish I was but I’m just not. For me they feel more like aliens than babies until that first look. However, within minutes of holding Thing 2 I was in love and just like Thing 1 that love grew stronger every day until I thought I would burst. I still think that even with an almost teen and teenager.

If You are Interested in a VBAC

Choosing to have a VBAC or a repeat cesarean is a very personal decision. What is right for one woman may be very wrong for another. What is important is understanding the facts for each choice and finding a care provider who is a straight shooter instead of fear monger.  You need a provider who educates truthfully, listens and respects your body and your choices. For me having a VBAC, while hard, was worth all the effort. For women interested in VBACS I suggest the following sites.

Improving Birth
International Cesarean Awareness Network (ICAN)
VBACfacts
Birth Without Fear

Hugs and High Fives,
Jenn

Keep up with my kettlebell workouts, real food recipes, and more in one of three ways! 1. Sign up to have posts emailed to your inbox. 2. Subscribe to the RSS Feed or 3. “like” Girl Heroes on Facebook. Simple dimple!

Journey with our family on the road at Newschool Nomads as we travel fulltime in RV through the United States.

The post The Birth of Thing 2 – My Successful Vbac appeared first on Girl Heroes.

Still no baby here. My “due date” isn’t until April 5th so while I’m more than ready for his arrival and really uncomfortable I’m not worried. After all due dates are really just “guesstimates”. Babies come when they are ready not when they are “due”.

As I’m preparing for the birth of Thing 3, I decided I wanted to reminisce and reflect on my previous births. While my first birth was far from a tragedy, it was on some level traumatic and far from ideal. It left physical and mental scars that took time to heal. Perhaps in sharing my story someone else will feel less alone or less crazy or more hopeful or something. If anything it’s nice for me to look back and see how much I have learned and grown since the birth of Thing 1 and, of course, to remember falling in love with Thing 1 all over again.

The Prenatal Days – A Huge Bag of Mixed Emotions

I found out I was pregnant with Thing 1 about a month and a half after a trip to India where I had gotten really sick. I actually went to the doctor and asked for antibiotics because I thought I was still sick with a lingering stomach virus. The doctor advised me to wait over the weekend and if I didn’t feel better he would do some testing. A few days later, I took a pregnancy test and was surprised to find out out I was pregnant. It wasn’t particularly “good timing”. I was getting ready to move to a new town, finishing college, and on top of those things I was struggling with depression and had been recently diagnosed with a personality disorder (Borderline).

Emotional/Relational/Spiritual

It was a long 9 months. We had recently moved to Ventura from Santa Barbara and I had very few friends. Most of my days were spent at home crying. If you have ever faced the true despair that real depression brings you’ll understand what I mean. It’s more than a “bad day”. The days were long, lonely, and empty. During this time, I started going to therapy 2-3 times a week. These were dark days, probably some of the darkest of my life, but even in the midst of the darkness God gave me a few candles to guide my steps as He always does. First and most important was Brent. He was and will always be my best friend and my rock. We clung to each other through that dark tunnel and came out the other side stronger than before. Second, was my therapist and my parents who made therapy possible. I really don’t know if we would have made it through the darkness without them. Thirdly, we started going to a new church and the pastor’s wife took me under her wing. She would pick me up and take me with her while she “toodled around town”, i.e., ran errands. She listening without judgement to my endless lists of fears and worries.

For reasons I won’t go into, I really wanted a boy. The thought of having a girl terrified me more than the thought of giving birth itself. I prayed constantly that I would have a boy. Seeing that my mental state was where it was at the time, we decided it was best to not find out the gender. A few days before I went into labor I went to the mall and bought a pink dress because I figured I’d better start accepting the fact that my baby had a 50/50 chance of being a girl.

Physical

Back in those days I didn’t know much about health and nutrition. Prior to getting pregnant, I had been an unhealthy vegetarian who lived off of cereal, pasta, and canned lima beans. Once my pregnancy cravings kicked in all I wanted was meat and I never looked back.

During those 9 months I took eating for two literally. I remember sitting in class one day and eating a packs of peanut M&Ms, Kit-Kats, and Twizzlers, one right after another, when I noticed a girl staring at me. This is how I ate my entire pregnancy. I ate a full pint of ice cream almost daily. I didn’t get full blown gestational diabetes but did have to take the the long 3 hour test because of the results of my first test. It was no surprise that I put nearly 70 pounds on my 118 pound body.

Before I was pregnant exercise consisted of an occasional run around the track at college. I thought if I could run a mile it meant I was “healthy”. Once I was pregnant forget about running. I didn’t do any exercise until we joined the YMCA late in my pregnancy and I took up swimming a few days a week because it felt good to be weightless even if it meant swimming in a plaid tent.

Educational

Although childbirth is an act of nature, it is so important to educate ourselves especially at this point in time when many (most?) doctors want to turn it into a medical condition. Not to to mention how the media falsely portrays childbirth conditioning most women to think it “has” to be awful and painful. Like most new mothers, I took a class but was so TERRIFIED that I zoned out every time I was there to cope with my fear. I fully embraced that birth was going to be excruciatingly painful. Not only did the thought of giving birth scare me but it disgusted me as well. Of course I read What to Expect When Expecting which is the WORST pregnancy book out there but at the time I didn’t know any better. Unfortunately, my lack of education showed when it came time to birth.

The Birth – Classic Path to a C-Section

I went into labor on my own on April 21, 2000. I can’t remember much except that it hurt. HURT!  Of course, it did because that was what I was fully expecting to happen. If only I had listened and took the time to learn the pain management skills that were taught in my class. What would have been even more important would have been to take the time to work through my fears and preconceptions regarding birth. But I was where I was and that was at a place of fear.

What followed next was a classic path to a c-section. First, I went into the hospital too early at only a few centimeters dialated. Next, I asked for an epidural right away. I’m not 100% against epidurals (I do think it’s healthier for mama and baby to go without but so far I’ve never done that) but asking for one during early labor can slow it down which is exactly what happened. One intervention lead to the next. I was put on my back (not good) and since my labor slowed they gave me pitocin. Pitocin can make contractions unnaturally strong which can affect the baby’s heart rate. The pitocin, laying on my back, continuous fetal monitoring, and fear was a recipe for a c-section. After many hours of a slowed labor and a the baby’s heartrate going up and down, the doctor decided it was best to have a c-section.

I don’t blame my doctor’s decision. He is a great doctor and was wonderful during the c-section. They took me to the OR and upped my epidural. Brent came in and stayed at my head under the sheet looking at me with intense love and reassurance the entire time. I can’t imagine what it would have been like without him.

Before they cut me open, I remember asking my doctor if I was numb. He asked if I could feel him pinching my skin. I couldn’t so he proceeded with the surgery. The surgery didn’t hurt but I could feel pulling and tugging. Thing 1 came out and the doctor said, “It’s a boy.” For a moment, I forgot I was in the middle of surgery and was overcome with joy at having a boy! A BOY!!!!!! Our new little boy had a less than ideal apgar score and there was meconium staining so they took him to the NICU for observation.

I only got a glimpse of him, much less a chance to hold him, while they wheeled him by me in a cart. It would be 18 hours until I got to hold my baby. That was the worst part of the whole ordeal.

The next thing I knew I was given a shot and went out like a light. I woke up later in a recovery room and then later in the room I would stay in for 5 days. The only thing I can remember about the next few hours was being in the most pain I had ever been in in my life and pressing a button that gave me pain medicine. Oh and I was thirsty, so very thirsty, but they would only let me have ice chips.

The following day nurses came in to poke or prod me but I still had not seen my baby. Brent was going back and forth between me and the NICU. Finally, a midwife who owned the birth center where I had taken my childbirth class, was visiting someone in the hospital. She stopped to see me and found out I hadn’t seen my baby. Immediately, she went to the nurses and asked that I be able to see him. It wasn’t long before I was put into a wheelchair and taken to the NICU.

Thing 1 had his own room and was soooo big (Almost 10 pounds!) compared to all the other babies in the NICU. Although there was nothing wrong with him he was still under “observation”. It broke my heart that he had to lay there all alone when his mama was just down the hall. I didn’t know enough nor did I have the confidence at the time to question hospital protocol so I kept being wheeled down there every few hours to see him. Finally after a few days they released him to my room. Then a few days later I was released to go home.

For me, it had been a confusing, emotionally draining, and verging on traumatic five days.

Postpartum – Things Get Worse Before Better

Recovering from a c-section sucks. I don’t think I had ever or have since been so sore. It felt like someone had forced me to do 5 million sit-ups at gun point. But that was nothing compared to the emotional pain I felt at not being able to nurse my baby like I had planned.

Since Thing 1 had been immediately taken away from me, I had not got to nurse him much so my milk was sooo very slow to come in. When it did finally come in there wasn’t much. This isn’t uncommon for c-section moms. If you haven’t nursed a baby it’s hard to describe the desire to nourish them. It’s overwhelming and, for me, it defined the next few weeks of who I was. Since I wasn’t making enough milk I saw myself as a failure and became crazy obsessed with increasing my milk supply. After almost every feeding, I would pump for about an extra hour. This added up to 8-12 hours of pumping a day. It was painful physically but mentally excruciating. In hindsight, I was not well but we didn’t have much of a support system at the time nor did we know better.  Brent and I were fumbling along together. I, desperate to nourish my baby, was feeling like a failure and fighting postpartum depression. He, desperate to provide love and support to me, was taking care of our home on very little sleep.

Those few weeks after birth were long, dark, and lonely but eventually, my milk supply caught up with the demand. Well mostly, I still had to supplement with formula a little bit. I walked in my college graduation with a forced smile. My c-section healed and we eventually found our new normal as a family of three. Day by day, I fell in love with our new son a little more. In the process, my depression and severe emotional struggles faded to what would eventually become a memory.

What I learned – God Heals and Babies and Birth Matter

First, I learned that God heals. Not to get all “religious” on you but this is the only way I can put it. He not only healed my physical wounds but the emotional ones as well. Having our first son was a huge step taken towards wholeness. It may not have been what I had planned for my life but it turned out to be what God knew I needed. Fourteen years later, I can’t even begin to imagine my life without Thing 1. He is an amazing child and one of the best “surprises” I have ever been given.

Secondly, I learned the importance of educating myself about childbirth and facing my fears surrounding it. For many women, including myself, it’s not enough to read What to Expect When Expecting or go to any birth class. There were fears that needed addressing and I should have taken the time to learn about the possible consquences of interventions. I’ll never know what the birth could have been like had I not chosen my first intervention, the epidural. Perhaps I could have had a natural birth and breastfeeding would have gone more smoothly and not become the mental nightmare it was those first few weeks. Or not. I’ll never know.

People often say to mothers who have had a less than ideal birth, “At least you have a healthy baby”, as if that’s all that matters. While I understand the sentiment, it’s not the full picture. A healthy baby is not all that matters. Healthy babies are important but so are healthy mamas and positive birth experiences. 

I was determined that when the time came my second birth would not be a repeat of my first birth. In the meantime, I fell deeply in love my surprise baby, Thing 1.

Hugs and High Fives,
Jenn

Keep up with my kettlebell workouts, real food recipes, and more in one of three ways! 1. Sign up to have posts emailed to your inbox. 2. Subscribe to the RSS Feed or 3. “like” Girl Heroes on Facebook. Simple dimple!

Journey with our family on the road at Newschool Nomads as we travel fulltime in RV through the United States.

The post The Less Than Perfect Birth of My Perfect Baby, Thing 1 (and what I learned from my “emergency c-section”) appeared first on Girl Heroes.

Being pregnant has a lot of ups and downs, thanks to hormones. Or maybe that’s just part of being a girl. Or maybe it’s just life. Yeah, that’s what it is life. Making Videos

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to sell almost everything and hit the road in an RV with your family? We did and two and a half years ago we decided to follow that dream. It was risky. It was scary. It was crazy. But here we are now loving our life (when my hormones aren’t getting in the way) and creating memories.  If you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to travel full time in an RV watch this video Brent put together for Go RVing. It really captures the essence of what it’s like to live in an RV.

  Cooking

When we lived in a house friends from our church would bring over meals for a week or two after the baby arrived. It was awesome. Since we don’t have a stationary community, I thought I would try precooking meals and freezing them. At first I was going to try one of those 40 meals in 4 hours, i.e., cook all day things. I used to do that when we lived in a house but I’m finding this late in pregnancy it’s not comfortable to be on my feet for more than a few hours at a time. So instead, I’ve been doubling or tripling our week night meals. I’m hoping by the time baby gets here I’ll have at least a few weeks of meals in the freezer.

Working Out

Still doing kettlebells about 2x a week. I’ve given up that third workout and definitely slowing down. It must be because it feels like I’m carrying a 35 kettlebell around ALL. THE. TIME. Yoga is AWESOME even when there is a snakes involved. Yes, a snake! The other day I was doing yoga outside our RV when a black racer slithered out of the bushes up ahead of me. I must have been feeling pretty zen because my heart only raced a little and I finished the workout.

The Baby in the Belly

I was right! My midwife confirmed he turned and is no longer breech! However, he is still posterior so I’m still doing the spinning babies exercises, one of which is “rebozo sifting”. Don’t ask. And definitely, don’t expect your teenagers to find it funny. This past weekend we also decided we better take a few photos before baby gets here since he is technically full term at 37 weeks. (I’m 37 and a half weeks now!) We are trying  to save as much money as possible so we decided to take them ourselves. They didn’t turn out too bad considering our modest equipment and using a self timer and tripod for the photos with both Brent and I.

My favorite.

An RV is not everyone’s first choice for a background but I love it!

This one was really hard to get with a self timer. We must have looked like total weirdoes!  

My second favorite except I forgot to take the sunglasses off on the back of my skirt. Ooops!

Hugs and High Fives,
Jenn

Keep up with my kettlebell workouts, real food recipes, and more in one of three ways! 1. Sign up to have posts emailed to your inbox. 2. Subscribe to the RSS Feed or 3. “like” Girl Heroes on Facebook. Simple dimple!

Journey with our family on the road at Newschool Nomads as we travel fulltime in RV through the United States.

The post Life Lately appeared first on Girl Heroes.

I haven’t been posting much because there has been a lot going on. A lot. Some good. Some bad. Some kinda boring like spending 30 minutes a day practicing hypnosis.  Yeah, I’ll get to that but first let’s start off with the good.

The Good

We got our new RV. You can see pictures of all 400 square feet here or if you prefer here’s a video tour. Aside from the decor looking a little generic (it feels very impersonal like a hotel room) we are loving it. There is so much more space and the kitchen is amazing.

The full size fridge has changed our life. No more playing Tetris after coming home from the grocery store. We even renewed our Costco membership. So that’s all good.

We’ve been traveling around in Florida hanging out with friends. Our first stop was a full time RV family rally. About 40 families who live full time on the road in their RVs like us were there. That’s just the kids at the rally in the picture above! It was a lot of fun even for an introvert like me.  A few days later we headed over to Orlando to spend a few more weeks with other families. The boys have made a lot of new friends so that’s good too!

While we were in Orlando my nomad friends, some who I have known and some who I had just met (even a few I just met that night), threw me a surprise baby shower! I was in shock!  These are the type of things I’ve come to accept that I miss out on by living on the road except I didn’t. What a blessing!

I mentioned last month that I was going to start blogging for a company. I started writing for Go RVing. It’s a trial partnership but so far it’s been a lot of fun and feels like a perfect fit. You can check out my posts on their site.

The Bad

Now for the bad.

My OBGYN was diagnosed with cancer and is taking a leave of absence. So sad.

To say I was disappointed would be an understatement.

First of all to be diagnosed with cancer is terrible and I’m so sad for him and his wife.  At the risk of sounding selfish, I panicked about who was going to deliver our baby. I was 32 weeks along and we moved to Florida specifically for this OBGYN because he has such a high success rate with VBACs (vaginal birth after cesearean). My doctor in CA was no longer allowed to perform VBACS due to a hospital ban on them. Since I have already had one successful VBAC  (before the ban) with a midwife from my doctor’s office in CA, my doctor there said, “It would be criminal of me to give to you c-section.” His words. I’m not going to spend the time right now debating women’s rights, medical liability, and the like. I’m just going to say the risks of complications of me having another c-section outweigh the risks of me having another vaginal birth. I’ll agree to a c-section to save my or our baby’s life but I will NOT be cut open due to oppressive hospital rules or for someone else’s convenience. Period.

“Coincidently”, the day we found out about my doctors’s cancer we had met with a midwife earlier that morning. I was hoping she would either be my doula or could recommend one. I had a doula with both of my other births. Considering the unfortunate turn of events, we decided to go with her as our care provider for the remainder of the pregnancy. So while it is very bad news about my doctor, I’m thankful we found someone who will take me this late in pregnancy and and does not want to cut me open. I feel very blessed to have met her when we did. Not only does is she very kind, she is very experienced.

I want to share more about VBACs later. Many women don’t even realize that a vaginal birth after a cesarean is not only possible but most of the time (not always) a safer option than a repeat cesarean. There is a growing movement of women standing up for their birthing rights!

The Blah.

So between getting a new RV and finding a new healthcare provider, I’ve been doing lots of stuff that some of you might find blah. Of course, I don’t find nesting, exercising, and preparing for baby blah but I realize a lot of people do.

Stuff like reading birth books (I’ll do a post about the best birth books later), researching strollers, and nesting in preparation for our baby nomad. We are getting excited. It sure is going to be different raising a baby in an RV with limited space. I’m looking forward to not having all sorts of baby crap that we don’t need laying around.

Along with the nesting and research, I’ve been practicing self-hypnosis using Hypnobabies. Hypnobabies believes in peaceful comfortable birthing. There is so much unnecessary fear surrounding birth, most of it put in place by our culture. It reminds me a lot of the standards of beauty women are expected to maintain. Like those standards, I don’t buy it. I’m retraining my thinking to believe that birth is  a beautiful, sensual, bonding, and peaceful experience.  As part of this preparation, I’m spending roughly 30-60 minutes a day practicing self hypnosis. Hypnosis is not what most people think. It’s not like the cartoons you saw as a kid or about losing control. In fact, all of us experience various states of hypnosis every day! It’s quite the time commitment but, not only are there some really great reviews online, I’ve had a few friends talk about how much they enjoyed their births almost pain free. Their stories were enough to convince me to give it a try. So I’ll let you know in a few weeks how my experience with Hypnobabies goes.

Speaking of baby, my last post I mentioned Thing 3 was breech. I’ve been doing Spinning Babies (told you some of this was boring) for the last few weeks and I’m pretty sure he has turned. Not only am I pretty certain I can feel his bum and legs in my ribs, yesterday I used my dad’s stethoscope and found his heartbeat at the bottom right. I even counted the beats and it was 138 bpm. While I’m sure my count was off, it’s close to the 140 bpm that the doctor had been recording at my last few appointments.  I have an appointment with my midwife this afternoon and hopefully she can tell me if I’m right!

Yesterday, I went to the chiropractor for the first time ever. I went to someone who is Webster certified. I have read good things about chiropractic care for optimal baby positioning. (There’s a lot of baby talk today!) Thing 2 was born posterior which means his face was facing up when he came out. Posterior, or “sunny side up”, babies often mean gnarly back labor for most women.  Typically, a baby is born anterior with his face facing the backbone of the mother. That way the smallest part of the head goes through the pelvis and the skull isn’t grinding against the spine. If possible (Pleeease Lord!) I’d love to avoid pushing out another posterior baby so I headed to the chiropractor. She said my sacrum was crooked which doesn’t surprise me after taking a very bad fall on my snowboard last winter. Again, I’ll let you know how it all goes after the birth.

33 weeks

34.5 weeks

Lastly, I’ve been keeping up with my workouts. I’m still doing 2-3 kettlebell workouts a week, a few days of yoga, and a decent length walk every day. I wish I could show you something exciting but really it’s just been about consistency. There have been no feats of strength or impressive numbers, just me and my kettlebell hanging out a few times a week.

Well there it is the good, the bad, and the blah.

Have you ever been to a chiropractor? Tried Hypnobabies? Worked out with kettlebells pregnant?

Hugs and High Fives,
Jenn

Keep up with my kettlebell workouts, real food recipes, and more in one of three ways! 1. Sign up to have posts emailed to your inbox. 2. Subscribe to the RSS Feed or 3. “like” Girl Heroes on Facebook. Simple dimple!

Journey with our family on the road at Newschool Nomads as we travel fulltime in RV through the United States.

The post The Good (New RV), The Bad (My Dr Got Cancer) and The Blah (The Rest) appeared first on Girl Heroes.

New RV!!!

I’m sitting in a hotel room right now. We’ve been living out of bags for the last few months since we sold our RV but tonight is the last night because tomorrow we pick up our NEW RV!!! I’m so excited that I can hardly sleep!!! We are heading over to Dixie RV tomorrow first thing in the morning. Let me tell you getting here was a bit crazy.  Driving through the Florida panhandle in the ice storm last night was no joke. Thing Two and I kept going because we were anxious not only for the new RV but to be with Brent and Thing One again.

We had been apart since we said goodbye at the Indianapolis Airport 11 days ago.  I had to get to a doctor’s appointment in Florida but the weather was so bad in the midwest and, at the time, we weren’t sure if we were going to go with a new RV or a used one in Michigan so I just flew down while we waited for the weather (and our minds) to clear.

Baby Nomad is Breech

The doctors appointments went well but I found out Thing Three is breech.  I reached out on my Facebook page about his breech position and got some good stories and advice. Someone mentioned Spinning Babies and I’ve been doing the exercises. I hope they help. I’m really hoping to have a second VBAC. It sounds like he has plenty of time to turn!

Growing Belly

While we are on the subject of babies, here are a few belly shots. These are not my most recent but they were the only ones I could quickly grab off my phone. I’ve grown a bit since then. I’ve been slathering my belly with coconut oil every day hoping to avoid stretch marks although, honestly, it’s more about genetics than any sort of oil or cream. I gained almost 70 pounds with my first kids and didn’t get any on my belly but I did get some on my hips. I’m 11 years older so I’m hoping that doesn’t change things but if it does it’s not the end of the world.

Bells

I got back to Florida to find my kettlebells corroding with rust! It must be the salty moist air. Oh well, I’ll consider them battlescars…kinda like the stretch marks on my hips. Speaking of hips, during my second trimester I started having terrible pain in my hips and lower back every evening.  At the time, my workout schedule was sporadic at best with about 1x maybe 2 workouts a week. About 6 weeks ago I decided to make my workouts a priority.  I’ve been strength training 2-3x a week , yoga 2-5x a week, and walking every day. After the second week of being consistent with my workouts the pain disappeared. So yeah, consistency counts!!

Well that’s about it. I can’t wait to show you our new RV. The kitchen is amazing and cooking will finally be fun again!!!

Hugs and High Fives,
Jenn

Keep up with my kettlebell workouts, real food recipes, and more in one of three ways! 1. Sign up to have posts emailed to your inbox. 2. Subscribe to the RSS Feed or 3. “like” Girl Heroes on Facebook. Simple dimple!

Journey with our family on the road at Newschool Nomads as we travel fulltime in RV through the United States.

The post Life Lately – Baby Belly, Bells, Bunches of Other Stuff like our NEW RV!! appeared first on Girl Heroes.