Between a (900 Pound) Rock and (a Half a Pound) Hard Place
Friday, I was attempting my 5 minute snatch test again. On rep 74 I felt my left shoulder weaken. One more. No it wasn’t just a bad rep, my shoulder was getting tired. One more. Yeah, it’s really tired. My form was deteriorating and wanting to stay safe I put the kettlebell down. Then I sat down and sobbed. I never claimed to not have issues. This was the second time in the a row that I had failed the snatch test after passing it once while camping. Thing 1 saw me crying. He came into the garage and putting his arm around me and said, “Are you disappointed?” (Then our
ugly little pug joined us hoping for food to offer comfort.)
Yeah, I’m disappointed I told him…but later I decided (Never can think of teachable moments until after the fact.) I’m also grateful. Grateful that I could snatch it 76 times. Grateful that my son walked out to the garage. Grateful I have a garage. The list goes on and on. Disappointed but grateful. It’s all about perspective.
The first time I swung a kettlebell I knew I wanted to become certified by the most respected kettlebell organization in the world. For months, I kept it a secret but in my head I was training for the RKC. In January, I became HKC certified with the secret hope of replacing the H with an R. I’ve trained hard and been committed to this goal for almost a year and as it stands I feel like I have a 50/50 chance of being part of the 70% who pass.
I’m not worried about my endurance for the workouts. I’m not worried about passing the technique or the teaching tests as I feel like my teacher has prepared me. I’m semi worried about the grad workout but I know I’ll survive. It’s the snatch test. The details (again) of the test are as follows. If I weigh 123.5 lbs or less I can use the 12K (26lbs) and if I weight 124 pounds or more I have to use the 16K (35lbs). Normally, I try not to share my weight but today I’ll make an exception since this has nothing to do with smaller jeans. I’m REALLY close to the cut off. Super close. The catch is my weight fluctuates 1-3 pounds daily. This is normal due to hormones, sodium, water, glycogen, ect and under normal circumstances it doesn’t bother me at all. But in this case a HALF pound fluctuation means 9 pounds and those 9 pounds feel like 900. (I just realized that 9×100 is 900 so literally the difference is 900 pounds.) It’s the difference between discomfort and pain. And possibly pass or fail. I’m in between a rock and a hard place. I could continue to lean out a few pounds below the cut off but then I will likely lose strength. Knowing my weight fluctuation…what if…just what if…the day before the test I weigh less than the cut off but the day of for whatever reason the scale says 124. I’m going nuts thinking about it.
So I made a decision. I will try to pass using the 16K. Screw the scale. I’m tired of worrying. I’m tired of doubting myself. I’m tired of being slave to a number. I have never really fully understood people who get on the scale and it makes or breaks their day. I have more understanding now except when I get on the scale and it reads “heavy” I get filled with fear and doubt. Not anymore. I’m choosing to believe in myself and believe in the body God has given me.
This morning, I walked out to the garage determined to knock out 100 snatches with the 16K bell. I did…with 4 seconds to spare. Me stress much?
Needless to say, I’m going to be pretty focused the next 2.5 weeks but not so focused that I won’t take the time to kiss the dog…
….on second thought….
Hugs and High Fives,
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