Competing to Lose II
Today I’m 12 weeks out from wearing my silly sparkly suit and heels. I admire the hard work and discipline of all figure competitors, but I can’t help it, I just sort of feel like a goof walking around in a bikini and heels on a stage.
Then why in the world am I doing another?? A few reasons. One, setting a date adds a level of intensity to my workouts. ”Memorial weekend” just doesn’t do it for me. Two, I enjoy the challenge of the journey. I discover my mental weakness and my strengths. Three, I actually enjoy lifting weights and the two go hand in hand. Four, as much as I actually dislike walking on the stage and feeling like a beagle in heels, it is rewarding to reach a goal after months of discipline. And lastly, The Abbeys. Of course. I could set a goal to do a mini-triathlon or half-marathon (both things I’d like to do at some point) but I can train for one of those and still eat big buttery soft pretzels every day. I shouldn’t but I could because I wouldn’t be judged on appearance. Ruff ruff. In fact, I think I might use that sort of endurance training as a justification to eat mounds of refined carbs. After all, I would need fuel for that long run so that muffin from Starbucks might not be a bad idea. Not with a figure competition because those muffins will turn into muffin tops. Yeah, I have issues. Self-control is one of them.
I have less to lose this time around. Less fat. Less depression. Less low-self esteem. I hope that doesn’t make me boring. Last year I got to 118 but I had set a goal of 115 and this year I want to reach it. This means I have 10 pounds to go or roughly a pound a week. I’d like to reach 115 the week of the competition before my water drop and have the answers to all psychological issues like Dr. Phil but less annoying. As before, the competition for me is about losing. Losing some more of the baggage that keeps me from being the woman God calls me to be. And I’m not just talking about saddle baggage.