The crazy train arrived Saturday night while I was teaching “Sunday” school during the nighttime service at church. I had been a little “crave-ish” but not too bad. It was going well until snack time. I passed out the graham crackers and Ritz to kids. Their smiling faces were totally unaware of the battle raging inside me where I was imagining myself with blowtorch setting their crackers ablaze as I cackled in a fit of hysteria.  I sat the crackers down when a little crumb tumbled innocently out onto the counter.  I stood there staring unable to toss it in the trash  for what seemed like 3 minutes.  One little taste won’t hurt. Blackout. I regain conscious and “realize” I’ve eaten over half a pack of Ritz and about 5 sheets of graham crackers. Uh-oh.

Sunday I’m doing pretty good until the evening when I decide to clean up the kitchen.  I spot the peanut butter sitting stoically on the shelf.  I need some “good fats” I tell myself.  A tablespoon won’t hurt my progress.  Uh-huh.  A tablespoon or two won’t but a bowl WILL.  Seriously A BOWL of peanut butter.  Okay it was a small bowl but still a bowl of peanut butter.  Geez.

So I slipped up.  My former self would mentally flog myself.  But instead I choose to forgive myself and do my best to hop back on the wagon.  I made it through yesterday without any slip ups.  I wasn’t happy about eating my tuna and salad but I no longer felt like a lunatic when I saw a bowl of chips.  We even went out to dinner last night and there where chips and salsa on the table, my favorite snack and I didn’t have one. Not one.  And today I woke up feeling like a totally different person.  I’m back in the groove, ready to lose!

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